"My Buddy, My buddy, Wherever I go, He goes..."

So this post is exclusively about my terp. A terp is what American GIs call Interpreteurs. So anyway, I have this terp who is crazy. He isn't committable, but I am sure if anyone closely related to Oprah would have him arrested and or deported back to Kurdistan. Yes, I did not make a mistake, I said Oprah.

Picture a young 14 year old kid who is excited to be in the world for the first time, seeing new things and having adventure being the order of the day. Imagine all the information he has ever taking into his brain concerning America comes from British based english classes and movies/ television. Imagine he is well to do and does not want for money (an unusal feat considerign the poverty of Iraq), now also imagine his English is so confusing you often have to explain things to him in his native language or three times in English.

Ok, I am pretty sure I beat that imagination horse to death, but I HAD to get that picture in your head so you could then picture that boy in a 30 something year old body. Now you can understand "Carl". Yes his name has been changed to protect his identity.

Now Carl has the sense of humor of a pre-pubescent male on top of everything else. Maybe all of that helps you understand why he told me, and albeit randomly and unprompted: "Sir, Do you have number phone of Oprah? I gon call and tell her I can be there in 48 hours. She needs to get ready cause I gon call her and she gon to say: 'Carl I Love you'. And I gon say, 'Okay Oprah no problem , I gon come.'"
ME: Carl You can't handle Oprah, she'd hurt you.

CARL: sometimes you have to get hurt to learn, but then you got to more and more try and then it's no problem.

ME: Why Oprah anyway?

CARL: Oh, suh, I LUV big black beautiful woman.

ME: Carl, she'd break you.

CARL: No, No, you see, Just one call.

....